Over Christmas, Lorenzo accessed Ultima Fila’s secret Cyprus National Bank account with the help of a North Korean hacker. His intent was to seize the podcast’s common funds for his own benefit, but the hacker stole all the money and vanished, proving that Lorenzo is not really the smartest guy in town. I mean, it was a North Korean hacker he found on Fiverr. Like, dude, seriously?
Anyhow, the end result is that now Ultima Fila desperately needs cash, mostly to pay for Andrea’s next month-long trip to South East Asia. That’s why today we’re desperately turning to the best method for pretending you’re making money online: Amazon Affiliates Links.
During a visit to Nicole Scott‘s apartment, Andrea proceeds to enumerate all the many gadgets she owns, which gives us a proper editorial excuse to bother our listeners with lots of Amazon Affiliate Links in the description of this episode (and future ones).
If you don’t give a damn about the gadgets we’re mentioning that’s ok, we just want a percentage of what you’re spending on Amazon. I mean, forget the gadgets, just buy whatever you need to buy from Jeff’s dystopic digital emporium from this link and we’ll get a cut. Honestly, that’s all we actually care about.
Oh, here’s the damn gadgets anyway:
Lifx Beam
Amazing light stripe to set the mood for sex.
Lenovo S940
“It’s great to work while you’re traveling. Meaning, it’s my Netflix machine” – Nicole Scott
Surface Laptop 3
You want a Microsoft laptop? Might as well get this one so we get a big cut–it’s expensive.
Galaxy Fold
Ha. Come on, I won’t even put a link on this one, I’m not Cisotti.
LG G8X
Yes, LG is still selling smartphones. And this one is actually pretty cool.
OnePlus 7T
The one without the stupid curved screen and the one you should buy.
OnePlus 7T Pro
The one with the stupid curved screen and some other extra useless stuff.
Audio Jack
A random cable.
Aftershock headphones
They’ve got bone conduction, meaning they will sound like shit but you won’t get run over by a car while running.
Danish furniture
Random Danish Furniture. It’s not a gadget, but who cares.
Audi Etron
A gadget with a very long recharging time. Unfortunately you won’t find it on Amazon.
Nokia 2720
Honestly, a well done product. If you were born in the late ’80s, this is the phone you craved in high-school, plus Whatsapp
QCY AirPods clones.
Cheap AirPods clones. They’re more expensive in Italy than what Nicole says in the episode. Buy them anyway, please.
Xiaomi Mi Air Headphones
Cheap and awful sounding and pain inducing wireless earbuds. People, they’re like crazy cheap, what do you expect?
Thai mattress
After you set the mood with the aforementioned LED stripe you can have sex on this one.
Beamo Laser Cutter
Actually cool, but sadly I couldn’t find any store that let you put a referral on it.
Oral B 2000N
A random smart toothbrush.
OClean X
A slightly more expensive smart toothbrush, so please buy this one instead.
Xiaomi Metal CarryOn Suitcase
Xiaomi’s “why not?” philosophy at its best.
Sennheiser Momentum Pro
Probably the only gadget on this list worth its price.
Galaxy Buds
Everyone wants to make an AirPods killer, no one has succeeded so far, everyone still tries.
Jabra 85h
I mentioned them only briefly in the episode, but why waste a link opportunity?
Yeti Blue Microphone
The gadget you think you need to be a better podcaster. Lorenzo hates it, but he’s clearly in denial.
He doesn’t accept that he’s attracted by this microphone’s fat penis shape.
Tesla Model S
Cisotti thinks it’s a gadget, and for once he might be right. The link leads to a charging cable, though.
Meevo Live Streaming Cam
Boy, is this thing expensive
Viomi Vacuum and Mopping Robot
That’s a from one the infinite Xiaomi sub-brands. I guess you probably pronounce it like “Wyoming” or something.
Sony Alpha 6300
I wouldn’t buy it, but you can still click through the link to go on and buy something else. We’ll get money anyway, thank you very much.
Ospiti: Nicole Scott